cali-throat-cutter:

amindwithnodirection:

h-ella:

imperfecti0nkilledthegirl:

likemydaydream:

i-say-no-to-status-quo:

No I’ll be more like :

OR

you forgot one

I CAN’T BREATHE

I was about to do a #brbchoking but I don’t think it’s the best time…

What even is breathing?
Oh my lord.

AD

by far my favorite post on tumblr to this day

the last one. ahahaha

(Source: mynameiscomedy)

Anonymous asked: If you ate 65 Hippos in under 5 hours would you blow up or would they have a game of hungry hungry hippos in your tummy?

Well considering the consequences of consuming such large animals. I would say they would not only play 1 game of hungry hungry hippos in my stomach module. But they would never stop playing. Thus resulting in continuos farting escaping from my but. Yes thats whats gonna happen :)

johnfkennedy:

she wears short skirts. i am john f kennedy. shes cheer captain and im john f kennedy

spadesslick:

pimposaur:

reasons not to kill yourself

• chicken tender
• the billionth number of pi is 9
• it’s not gay if it’s on the moon
• sponges feel cool
• highdeas.com
• joe biden
• the letter Q
• dirt

Some of these are legitimately calming.

dysenterygay:

i asked my italian grandfather if the rough parts of italy were called the spaghetto and look at me w/ so much shame 

sweeneytad:

*dentist slaughters family in front of you*

they’re bleeding because you don’t floss

endlesslysherlocked:

peregrin-fool-of-a-took:

221bec:

“so how’s your fandom doing?”

it doesn’t even matter what fandom they meant; this applies to all of them.

Forever reblog because accurate.

(Source: piglii)